"Poetry, painting and a life full of love..."
YUKSEL SOYLEMEZ11-06-1913  /  22-01-2013Poetry, painting and a life full of love...
POEMS (1954-2010)
ART GALLERY (1960-2010)
PHOTO GALLERY (1966-2011)
ESSAYS (1970-2005)
ZAGREB (1993-1995)



Sorry Smile, 1998

a Tetralogy
a Letter Poem
by Yüksel Söylemez
Taipei, 1998



Very last word is said and the deeds done
More of the same or less
My gens most of all I miss
Physical sequencing of DNA seed
Arguments debates and programs fill
Solar system must be near
Arts sciences and history edifice
Antecedents I still have to meet
Mortals computer literati ordinary
Digital telescopes communicate
Masks costumes mustaches and beards
Larger than life reality celebrated
Traffic heavy of
Evasive universe vacated
Survive five more centuries
Ozone layer incurable pandemic
Humans become extinct
Empty universe to think
Common fossil of life on mars
Asteroids and tidal waves
Armageddon in numbers game



The window of times is open wide
When moon craters were the first sight
Come rain of meteors unto earth come
To our fright come non stop
Torrents of fire we watched through
The window of time open wide
This into the calendar year of before time
Of before life three billion and plus
Eight hundred million meteor years on
Friendly carbon atoms testify in greenland
As the window of time opened wide
There was light
Sunshine awash



In case it was
The last day in the days and ages
Of the helium hydrogen the world we knew as such ours
The planet earth
Rotating around 40 billion years since
There were two possibilities
One good and one bad
Very bad
And also very sad
Nothing could be done to prevent
Nothing I can think of
All gods prophets and saints combined
To stop the burst
Hereby state I for one
Wouldn’t be prepared to accept
As we knew it
In case it definitely was the end
The last day of the stardust
Four billion and a half years on and on
Before the bitter end
Before the sun runs cold
To disappear in Holocaust
Or the two other possibility
Althought the last day it may be
Before the seas and the oceans run dry
As we did not know the intimate facts
That in itself
Would be a bad thing
Or ignorance is bliss
Is open to debate

But there would be no time to lose with semantics
Altought it was the last day
Some knew the truth
In inverted commas
Others yet to hear the quote
Some knew and kept it to themselves
Other eitheir didn’t
Or wouldn’t or couldn’t in the know
Astronomers would
Chart a course for ascension
Chemist and physicists calculate the descension
Popes and cardinals of inner circle
Privately pray
It is a big responsibility to hide from the flock
To tell or not to tell the facts
The truth so to speak
But what truth
Challenged argued negated
Shakespeare would have asked
The truth about the big bang
Theorized before accepted result
This looks like the truth absolute
Less than desire more than eternal reality
On the way to eternity
In fraternity within quotes
The first time
A free fall since Adam and Eve appeared
Since Abel and Cain
Last day before the judgment final
For some or many or for one only
Not to divulge the facts
Telling a lie imperfect as is
Blasphemy tantamount
A cardinal sin for cardinals listen

Might have quiet kept unfair and bad
But why not part with the secret
In utter disbelief in outrage
Hysterþa disorder chaos riot
Collapse personal economic psychiatric
Full cry loud
Advice solace none
Churches mosques temples and synagogues
Flow with devout
Candles lit on both ends light
Flicker is hope last
To go together
In one blink
Hows and buts and whys
By whom and by what questions abound
Yet answers none
Supposing it really was or is the very last
Supposing we knew that
What it was all about
All shutters down
Quietly wait
Wait to die
Supposing that the earth would

Slowly come to a grinding halt
Stop rotating around its axis
Some mechanical malfunction
Would be a terrible thing
How could anybody act so irresponsibly
To neglect such a vitally important thing
Maintenance job primordial to billions
Whatever is required at whatever expense
Whatever spare parts needed
Technicians should have foreseen
Somebody somewhere to attend to it
To preempt this awful thing
Six billion lives at stake so to speak
Count six billion and plus one by one
Half children babies
So much at stake
So much so many
On nuts and bolts and screws depend
Somebody somewhere can fix it
It may be the problem of velocity

Rotation speed can be mended
Original speed can be reinstated
Even in the last minute to avert this last day nonsense
Whose information was it
To begin with
Has to be revealed
Who passed it on
Nobody would believe
Six million years on
Our common mother lucy
Sixty million years of ancestors
From the milky way
Three hundred million years on
Last days of this and that
Of summers and autumns and winters and springs
The last day of this film
The last day of someone loved and cherished
Last day of the earth this planet
Never before never occurred to anybody ever
Punishment undeserved
But carry on as usual in disbelief
Tomorrow may be another day
So much in so little time
Bills calls dates hectic
Routine crazy stress alive

A rat race rush
No time for the last day
Some missed the fast train
Some have their exam
Will they cancel pospone checkups
Will they miss the act to shoot
Will charity committees still meet
Hodja in the mosque priest in the church
Rabbi in the synagogue monk in the temple
Pray for the next day
In the case the prayers are heard
Be answered in part
In case a little time to ponder
In case a month a week
A day or two to be organized
We could have contacted the vativan to act
Something to stop
Jesus christ

Prophet Mohammed prophet Abraham react
And recommend
Would they be prepared to obey
The holy books all preempted
With certitude the day of judgment
The ressurection
There must be a last day somewhere for each and every
To deal with such outrageous crowd
Unruly chaotic with no scale
Generations past and young to come
Fathers mothers sons and
Daughters of thousands of years
Aunts uncles in search of relatives
Brothers and sisters of
Fifteen billion of us millenia back
Larger than life
Such genealogical tree never big and complete
So much alive in this giant trunk
So much alive with every leaf
So much unforeseen unprepared unlike
Holy books account
Never a slaughter so big in scope
This all inclusive
All encompassing
Vistavision technicolor made in Hollywood
A Cecil B. De Mille production
Never in crowd scenes so real and
Afterlife in sight near naked
A rare chance to try what dead is all about
You may like to rest in peace
For a while I monopolize the sun
Afterlife a question mark
Exciting heavens outmoded

Hells in bad repair
Less elaborate than expected
Many ifs and buts to attend
In the last day of what
One-way ticket to eternity
No historic places of interest
Next stationwonders of nature to visit
In archeological sites
Past memories cruel pinch
Ordeal insist
Television screens prime time
News items number one
Waiting to be announced
Sponsors commercials cut
A paid political announcement
All parties unite
A common stand adopt
The very last chance
To save face
To save all greens all the plants
Parties to the right parties to the left unite
At long last
This or that that or this

Lose all or to stay alive fight
The security council of the nations apart
Pass a resolution halt
This day last fallacy
Call upon the galaxies watch
Peoples of the earth unite
In a game grand
Just for a while
Unite once in a while
Before final exit the end in sight
End of the last mile
What is it to be dust
Particles atomized
Dust unto we sweep
From dust unto one
Become neutrons close by
One close up one particle
Vocal desperately alive
To defend galaxy rights
Right of each molecule
Each cell that multiply
Light years ahead
Right to be a molecule
Right to be an atome independent
Sovereign right of being one
Right to fight null and void
Right to stand a stake
Right to be obliged
Right to be barren empty nil

Ruins of hell and heaven afar
Gardens of Shalimar stink
Right to heresy
Of life and death hereby
Incinerate dustbin of men
Whence we come whence we go
Usa France Germany
Russia China India UK all else rise
Objection protest defiance
AIDS spread terrorize
The last day of the earth
With all its plants insects
Big small animals
Tiny fish to fade out
Disappear transposed in time
Houdini illusion hypnotism
Believe not
Children can not be put to sleep
Last call for action
Global universal unanimous
Action urgent immediate
A quick fix conference to stop
Call upon the world tribes
Avert this ill charted catastrophe tragedy
Not to be no more
Sons and daughters of mother Lucy unite
People of the universe wake up
This last must be stopped
Stopped immediate

Without delay with no lapse of time
Stopped at all cost
At any price
Six million jews in concentration camps
Twenty million martyre
Since great war last
Forever we become galaxy history
Cannot be world war three four or five
No wars long behind
Object protest we overcome
Memory of bosnians dead in Serbia
Somalians famished starved
This earth shall outlast
Many peace of war since
With laughter or tears
Annihilation condemin man
Cannot accept condone but deplore
This unexpected failure mechanical
By other galaxies aliens
This science fiction as fact
“Homo Homini Lupus” yes
Tribe annihilate tribe
Man eat man’s salty flesh fresh
We have none to blame but us
This one enemy from within

To help to assist but us
Neighbors friends allies near or far
Save kith and kin is us
Empty shells behind
Exhausted bare and white
In this zero-sum game win or lose
Lose or win losers and winners
Under wide open wings of time
All is a dream
A thriller devour in shining armor
Skirmish tailored to blind the eye
Dionysus on inherited wine
None in sane mind
In bad taste or ill will
Many still unsaid unsettled
A million projects bare unfinished
Unborn babies waiting in the wings
Yet if true it would be a shame

Dreadful pityful awful
End with empty minds
Not recognizing altzeimer
Paper brains blank white
Accident or design a disorder vast
Too much haste too great a waste
In case it wasn’t to be the last
Perhaps that is the case
We must believe in tomorrows always
In case it is the case we must gain time
Extra day two or more
To outlive the destiny or our DNA
Ponder on borrowed time
Force the limits of your mind for some delay
With borrowed time
We can work out buy time
Haggle negociate diplomatic
Spoken word will beat in the end
Devastate overkill
Negociate bargain give and take
Against one vacuum one void colossal big
Solicitors lawyers solicit settle
Mobilized we all must call to arms
Armed to the teeth
Fight to the last trench
To the last ditch

Push button nuclear bombs at bay
Ready for the next Holocaust
Defend the earth
To the last raindrop
To the last tree trunk green leaf
Tropical forest we defend
In dripping heath
The last fern from paleontology must outlast
Defend our history geography
Mathematics astronomy
Defend we shall billions of years
Of archeology zoology biology chemistry
Nuclear quantum physics
Defend plastic arts literature
Atonal electronic cacaphonic music
Defend free verse oratory
Freud Einstein Salman Rushdie
Socrates Plato and Aristole
Our last bid
The continents one to six
Save the glaciers to deserts
Fight for each and every
Wars are for dead victories lie flat
Victories whitewashed
Someone somewhere
Who pressed the wrong button
A gentle touch to devastate
Man as superhuman
Load computer programs

Engrave sculpt design
Man to delete man
Forget the last 300 billion years
Could not contact with the psychiatrist
On holiday in the south
Imagine his advice theorise
Relax do not panic
Take it easy
There is always a way
You will be all right
You will be o.k.
All will be fine
We will be all right
Last day or not
Did you understand



I do not know how
To mail this letter to you
Unwritten message with no letters
Letter without words
This no letter
I do not know how
To compose if I can at all
Still determined to send
By hook or crook
No one at the inquiries desk
A robot computer in charge
A antique bell I did not dare to ring
A total stranger in the outer world
Would the bell sound
Sound or no sound
But a bell to call
A mailbox maybe near
Distances matter
A fax a telex an e-mail would
Telegram phone of any ages by gone
In this age and time
No direct link communication
To report first impressions
First glimpses since
Arrived with mixed feelings
Prepared yet never ready willing
End was sudden unexpected painless
Departure untidy messy
Time even to comb was not permitted
A last look in the mirror quick
Of myself behind I left
Not even time for a shave clean
Arrived with a heavy heat
Half hearted broken
Just to let you know that
I arrived period
No need to sign
Arrived, arrivé arrivato stop
In any language would be enough
Arrived safely stop
Safe unsafe or how safe is anyone’s guess
Safe from what or whom
Exit from friends ennemies
Exit from envy or jealousy
Peaceful calm quiet
This at least I would expect
Away from the lot the rat race
Away from hectic chaotic traffic
Saved from poluttion epidemiz
Secure from terror nuclear
I life insurance policy amicably
Settled without a hitch
To claim your life insurance is some relief
Safe and secure foolproof international terror
Safe deposit box open
Carry the will as no big deal
To the letter and spirit
This to reconfirm that
I arrived and doing fine
Under the circumstances
Doing nothing keeping still
Quietly trying to compose this message
With due importance it merit
I insist persist
To send this message out
If I can not manage to transmit
Care of some person
Somebody some passenger by hand
E-mail internet homepage
There must a way
A few monitors around
Not showroom display only
No memory no chips in
Power the essence
So there will be power
Power in the outer world equal life
No power no life
I think therefore I am
Approppriate wise
Repeat the dictum loved amos ergo sum
Question come abound
A map of the place to find the way around
No sign posts to strart
A chart a diagram a must
Here there is no must
A slip of the tongue
No must no more
You have all the time infinite
Inform all concerned
That I arrived fine
Nothing new in the outer front
You are allowed to ask
If you have the time
To go into some detail
Just to kill time
Time factor nil
Agenda deleted removed
From time pieces time obliterated
Fact is timelessness
As weightlessness in space
Time float undefined indefinite
To be late no more a shame
By air on time
I arrived to my surprise the air was heavy
Atmosphere filthy smell
Foul odor suffocating
Blame industries antiquated
Cursed the traffic
Nobody to consult
To ask why and how
Trying to figure out
No trees in the horizon
Tall or small
No bushes flower pots
No vegetation any kind
Tropical mediterranean none
Disappointment utter shocking
Where are the fruit trees
The holy talking about
Trees forbidden otherwise
Gardens french englih or wild where
No greenhouses no flower shops
Stunned colour green is out of bounds
Green banished from and for what crime
How thin the air
No fumes no smog
The air dark grim and gray
This may be fog smog or a cloud
Visibility limited
Airports would close on reports as such
Accidents plenty
Hospital emergencies full fatality
A heavy drape descend
Of the best kind of black
My god what is this
What kind of welcome
This is health hazard
Preposcerous proportions tragic
Limits above and beyond
I must report there is no must
As a dutiful citizen
Remember no must no must no must
Yet must count on
The crowd factor of Malthus theory
Population of the outer world exist
Estimated some sixteen billion over
Increasing by the minute by the hour
Of the aged mohter earth in the outer world
Grows nothing flows
No soil no earth no mother
System absurd
Technology alien
Voltage 220 nor 110 which
Two pin or three pin plugs
Of the state of the art
Mindbogling chesslike
No winners in the end
Adapt no odubt in good time
When there is no time
Surrender to the rules for comfort
Adopt to the ways
Of the outer world to survive
Rules and regulations must implement
From left to right to turn
Problems to attend abound
Problems practical astronomic
Can’t live without but thrive
Adjustment readjustment re-readjustment come
No end in sight to cross the divide
Time immobile
Timepieces chime
Every hour on the hour some time
Grandfather clocks regret
No hands run after time
Hours minutes seconds missed
Time lost immaterial dates cancelled
No new dates to replace
Dates deleted crossed out
Today is a no date day
Not a new beginning
Tonight abstract yet
Tomorrow another no date night
Day in day out
Out of time
Run of time
Month year day no matter not
Leisure holiday vacation kind
Once upon a time
Time was holier than you
Numerical arithmetics algebra out
Statistics no more count
What good logic
Questionned back in time
Back to your emotions
Back to your senses and six
Look beyond
Sensitivities emotions most miss
Senses splendid suspended
Senses no edges sharp
Jellyfish slippery supreme
Dead or alive one fish to remind
To keep company in a glass bowl
To be friend
Tropical kind colours red black and white
To discover water in the outerword yet
Water and fish great
To spend some time out fishing allowed
Don’t look in the eye of the prey
Fishing is not a must happy without
What was happine3ss great
Small tiny things bits
A moment here a moment there fleeting
Sometime a second or two no more
Happiness is meaning
Pleasures to relay share
Happiness outbound is a parting gift
Parting such sweet
Parting for good from one station
In the inner world onto the definite
Sorrow deep from within
A wound fresh nourished
Baggage emotional to keep
Accompanied with no address indicated
Baggage full of trivia things but no need
Some remorse pity to keep
Luggage unattented nowhere to fit
Looking back longing
Hearing sounds and noises
Sounds coming from megaphones loud
Sounds cacophonic chaotic
Sounds too high a decibel anarchic
Order authority absolute lacking
No police guards or gendarmerie
Values none
Noise level deafening
Some shouting with out words to follow
Taste of granny smiths
Transfer with no notice
Passing through a filter of time
Discovering self long last
Taking stock things missed most
Encounter as stranger with yourself
I discovered the personal pronoun
Mirrors with no reflections tail and wide
Mirrors human bound
With no message no sound
No sense of feel
All for granted here
Was there I was here
We invent ourselves in one cosmic sea
Plasma membrane separate you and me
Boundaries chemical physical
Counts no more here
Holy books made to believe
Garden of eden must be far or near
Forbidden apple in museum display
What I lived left behind with no recollection
Time in time out
Memories stale do not mind
It is the little things that count
Microscopic size of no consequence
Parts of myself that left behind
In scrapbooks kept alive
Concert program tickets postcards
It is one past participle that crowd the mind
Memories yellow fade fast
Memories mellow
What was the name it will come
When was it was it not
Opening the distance between
Gap is larger larger and life
No way of holding tight
Rivers cascades floods
Memories dissolved fast
Trying my best to hold on
To my name and address
My I.D. card
Getting foggy in vapor steam
Memories wet
Faster and faster dissolving
No matter how I concentrate
No matter how hard I try
Focus through the lenses
Out of focus and blurred
When I needed them most out here
When I needed them most
Now out of touch
Now I’m out
Of fashion
Of season
Not properly introduced around
What protocol apply
No protocol among
Friend and foe meet in good time
What is good what is bad
I will consult and inquire
Ask for advice
This place vast
With its invisible crowd
In every turn and twist get lost
Was it day or night
I arrived in the dark
It was dusk
In the night and day divide
You don’t need to sleep
Sleeplessness never a habit
Gain all the time wide awake
No need to rest recuperate rejuvenate
We go on and on and on
With all the energy stamina and zest
Energy you need not
Moments space module kind
Slowly floating
No street lights no electric swirches
Yet you can read all the time
In available light
Officially no reading
No writing
I am not the same person
Or am I
I have to recognize me
The question is how
To transform yourself one to the other
The question is how to descend disembark
Plan in advance
Take more care to die
As a non-starter
Death as self-determination
A fundamental act
With high-tech touch
To die in the first try
Fail you may
Life sustained and resuscitated with love
Drugs of all kinds pump in and out
Life is defined with a little spark
Nourished and cared much
Yet outerworld a brainbeat away
June is not a good month to indulge
In death ever close with lovebecome
Death is aphrodisiac
Funerals in folksongs elaborate
Connection with afterlife
Sexual passions hidden in rites
In processions mock musicians chant
Paraphernalia accompany extravagant
White horses draw the young
Ring the bell in case of error
To indicate that you are back
Ring the bell
To awake god.


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